![]() We have a persona, but we don’t identify with it. Our self-image won’t vanish, but we see it in perspective, as something we’ve conjured up to protect us from what caused us harm in the past. “The art of listening starts with being free of our self-image. You welcome and value them as they are, in the moment. When you really listen, the other person feels they’ve been heard they trust that you’re not trying to fix their situation or them. It’s what gives mindful listening its meaning. Providing another person with the space they need to express themselves without fear of judgement or unwelcome advice is giving them the gift of your attention and acceptance. Listening mindfully, or receiving with empathy, requires we give others the space to share without interrupting, advising, or correcting them.” “Instead of maintaining presence, our mind tends to wander, we offer advice, or explain our own perceptions of the matter at hand. In a Psychology Today article called Mindful Listening, the art of listening purposefully is linked to empathy. It takes mindful effort to go into a conversation with no other agenda than to listen with complete attention. The mindful listener is fully aware in the moment, without judgment or expectations, and this sounds a lot simpler than it is. What a mindful listener truly focuses on is what the other person is expressing. When we devote time to our practice, we begin to realize in a very direct way that we can only truly focus on one thing at a time. We pull it back, it jumps away, we pull it back… sound familiar? This is exactly what happens when we meditate, too, and it’s why meditation training can be such a huge help in our effective listening and mindful communication. In our interactions with others, most of the time we don’t even realize that the mind has wandered. You don’t feel heard, do you? Or maybe you’re the one who’s unable to focus in on the conversation because so many other things are vying for your attention. How often have you noticed that the person you’re talking to is trying to pay attention to, well, everything else at the same time? They’re checking the phone, channel-hopping, adding to the shopping list, whatever. Mindful listening in interactions and relationships See our sister article, Mindfulness of Sounds, for more ideas about practicing with sounds. This exercise can help shift the mood of a playroom or classroom from energized activity to calm attentiveness. Continue for a few minutes-you can repeat at different volumes if so desired. Then we strike a gong, play a singing bowl, ring a resonant bell, or even hit and hold a piano key or chord and ask them to raise a hand when they no longer hear the sound. ![]() Whether in a classroom or at home, we invite them to sit quietly, close their eyes, take a few deep breaths, and settle in. Here kids are learning to focus in on the meditation object that is sound. One popular mindful listening exercise that kids appreciate is the bell or gong practice. Can we maintain awareness of sounds without engaging with them in our habitual way? That’s the matter at hand. Normally, there are background sounds we ignore, sounds we tune into and try to identify, sounds we enjoy and search out, and sounds we reject and try to distance ourselves from. This is very different from our usual relationship with sound. The key is to hear without analyzing, judging, or getting carried away. We can train in maintaining awareness of recorded sounds or sounds in nature, in civilization, or anywhere else. We simply settle the mind on a perceived sound-or even an imagined one-in a relaxed and open manner. Sound can be used as an object of meditation in the same way that physical sensations or the breath are. Some can be practiced solo others are based on interactions in real time. Some kinds of mindful listening are meditative others have a more targeted purpose. Mindful listening incorporates many of these same elements. What is mindful listening? Mindfulness, in all its many forms, boils down to being fully aware in the moment, without judgment or expectations, with or without a specific object of meditation. Is there a relationship between effective listening and mindfulness?
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